Tag Archive | G.I.Jess


Have you ever worked out really hard, burned lots of calories, felt incredibly good at all you have accomplished then destroy the hard work by going and eating something that you know is awful for you, because you feel you deserve it?  Are entitled to it?

I am noticing that as a thought pattern/eating pattern for me.  It doesn’t happen all the time, but on occasion it does and it has cropped up in the last couple of weeks.   On several occasions in the last month, I have left a really intense workout with G.I Jess and was heading home to make dinner but was already super hungry and was already pretty spent.  I didn’t like the thought of being so exhausted already and having to go home and cook a healthy meal as well as prepare everything for the next days meals at 9 PM.  SO instead, I would let myself off the hook from part of that by justifying a McDonald’s run or a yes folks, even a KFC run or 2.  I deserved it after all.  I have worked hard.  Harder than ever.  One meal won’t hurt.  But the scariest of all was…no one has to know.  In truth, even at this writing, I do not know that COach or Aaron know about this yet.

I also used a conversation I had with G.I Jess about my food log to justify this.  She had taken my log and read it and came back with some thoughts.  Probably the biggest thing was that I was not eating enough for what I am burning.  During the conversation she said she  would rather me eat something like KFC instead of being so short on calories all the time.  Now I know full well that she did NOT mean for  me to go out and actually get it.  Her point was to EAT MORE healthy food so that is not even an option or a necessity.  I twisted her intent in my head to help me justify this poor food choices.

The upside of all of this, is G.I Jess knows.  And has rewarded me well for it.  In fact, I told her last Monday as we were starting a 30 minute session that was SUPPOSED to be followed my an hour of biking for me while she taught her Boot Camp Class.   After I told her, she just told me that it was ok.  I am human after all.  There will be consequences however and to leave my bike in the car and to stay for Boot Camp.

Ummm no, I need to bike.

Oh you will, she says, but after Boot Camp.

You see, I had skipped my previous Friday morning swim because I slept thru my alarms then skipped my bike ride at night.  So she knew this and had already been thinking about having me stay for Boot Camp to make up for Friday.  Having told her this, just solidified her thoughts.

She proceeded to tell me how she planned her BC class around me and it was going to only be a half hour instead of an hour today.  Surely I can do a half hour, right?

Folks, when your trainer reduces a normally hour-long class to a half hour…be afraid. VERY VERY AFRAID!

We literally ran stairs for half an hour.  This was my reward for skipping workout and making poor choices.

When we were done, she told “NOW go get your bike.  I expect a report of how your ride goes and it must be at least 30 minutes and I want to know how many calories you burned.”

Seriously?  I don’t know that my legs will pedal.  I am just gonna go home.

Nope you are not, she says.  Go get your bike.  You have a scheduled bike ride to complete tonight.

Crap! (I rode)

So now.  I no longer feel entitled.  But during all this I had to ask myself this question.

How come I so quick to believe that I am entitled to eat crap?

How come I am slow to believe that I am ENTITLED to being healthy and fit?  A gorgeous size 10 or dare I say a size 6?

Am I not more entitled to the 2nd question than the first?  I mean, if God did not create me to be unhealthy and fat…why am I so quick to believe I am more entitled to that than the other (that I actually AM entitled to, by means of my Creator!)

Note:  The more tired I am, the harder this feeling of entitlement is to resist.  GRRRRRRRR


The Spontaneous 25K-Epic Fail

Let me first preface this post with this:  Failure is not a bad thing.  Not in this case.  Not this time. Not ever, at least not if you learn something from the failure.

After Nashville, I kinda didn’t feel like running again.  At least not for a little while.  I was spent, having laid it all out on the hills of Tennessee.  However, before I had even run it, plans were in the works for the next big race.  I told my friends I would not decide NOW, before I ran Nashville, if I would do another one in the fall or not.  I mean shoot, I might die!  So while Chicago and/or GR half marathons were on the table, no decisions were being made until post-Nashville.  Immediately after finishing Nashville, I looked at Leann and told her “NO!! I am NEVER running these crazy distances again!”

So that was my thoughts and attitude when The Fifth Third River Bank Run was presented to me as a possibility to run a mere 2 weeks after Nashville.   This run is a 5k, a 10k, or a 25K.  For those of you who don’t know…a 25k is 15.5 miles.  Of course Ben, Esquire, Holly and Katie were all planning on running it…so why shouldn’t I?

Ummm I don’t WANT to.  Remember…I didn’t want to run again for a little bit.  I wanted a break. I wanted to rest.  I didn’t want to drive across the state again so soon.

But Kim, You can totally do it! They all said.  You just ran 13 miles of hills..its only a couple of miles further but it is much flatter!  Come on Kim, we will see you there, said Esquire!

But I don’t WANT to was my response…and yet a seed was planted.

I headed to SALTS having decided…no I will not do the River Bank Run.  I will not run 25K.

After SALTS, I realized I was still thinking about the RBR and telling myself I would not do it and yet wondering if I could.  I have finally come to recognize this pattern of thinking…as TROUBLE!

I found myself talking to Esquire, who OF COURSE said “Yes Kim, you can!”  Then I called Ben and talked to him quite a bit about it.  Ben, is an experienced marathoner.  So I valued his opinion on this particular thing quite a bit.   He asked me all sorts of questions and gave me all sorts of things to think about.  He never said I should.  He suggested it was absolutely within the realm of possibility to do it and said it would be FUN to run the RBR with me if I decided to do it.  This was on Monday night, before the race on Saturday.

On Wednesday, I couldn’t get it out of my head so I decided, Yes I would do it.  I mean seriously, If I CAN…then why not?  Well, it was coming down to laziness.  I didn’t want to DRIVE?  Seriously?  Besides that…I was going to be doing the drive anyway.  I failed to mention that Adam was coming home from his ski patrolling winter in UT and I missed him like crazy, so I was heading out there anyway to see him.  In my mind, if I am gonna be there….I can hardly sit on the sidelines and WATCH a race.  I considered the 10K or even the 5K…and decided, why would I do less than what I know I can do….yep…I am sure I will eventually do a marathon with this TROUBLE thinking….

ok, so I am now about to do a 25K in 3 days and I have not run since Nashville and now is hardly the time to start running.  To add to the mix, on Tuesday G.I Jess KILLED my legs in a “welcome back” workout since she hadn’t seen me since before Nashville and at that time I wasn’t planning on RBR.

So I went to sign up online and to my great disappointment, online registration was closed.  The only way to register at this point is to go to the Expo on Friday and sign-up in person.   Unfortunately, since I work in Detroit and the race is in GR, there was NO WAY I could make it there before the Expo closed.  Suddenly, this girl, who barely wanted to do a race and was doing it because I had no good reason NOT to, was very disappointed.  I didn’t realize that something in me REALLY wanted to do it, until the possibility was taken from me.

I posted something of my disappointment on Facebook.  Do you know I have a friend who works for one of the major sponsors of the race?  Well, I didn’t know this!!  Within minutes of my post, he contacted me to tell me not to worry about it.  “Send me your race details and t-shirt size and I will take care of everything for you.”, he says.   Seriously?  Like, no kidding?  Just like that.  I was in.

Guess I better prepare.  Shoes?  check.  Running pants?  Check.  Oops, better get my other ones, it is supposed to be cold.  Which means….I might want my gloves and my head band…and don’t forget your Nashville hat, it might rain, and shoot, better dig out my base layer stuff…sigh…wait…I am not nervous.

Shouldn’t I be?

I felt like this was no big deal, just another run.  Wait a minute.  I have never run 25k.  I should be nervous.  Am I not respecting the distance?  Whatever that means…oh well, the nerves will come, I am sure.

They did.  Saturday morning.  They came in full force.  I don’t think I can do this, I thought.  What am I thinking?  Not only did I feel un-prepared physically, I felt unprepared mentally.  I mean I had almost 5 months to get my MIND prepared for Nashville.  For this I had 3 days!  I heard G.I Jess in my head reminding me that “if it is good up here (in the head), it is good everywhere”.

As my friend Laurie and I left her house to head downtown, I just began reminding myself of why I am ok physically, of where I have come from, and why this race will be fine and how I will make it through 15K…1mile at a time.

After picking up the race packet from Clint (friend who registered me), I met up with Esquire and ran into Ben and Laurie took off to meet her friends for the walk she was doing.   Esquire and I headed up towards the start line and ran into Coach.  And just as we were getting started, my friend TailWagger’s parents showed up to cheer me on!!!  YAY!!!

Esquire and I started near the back of the crowd of several thousand 25k’ers.  The only ones to come after us would be the My Team Triumph runners who would do the 25K as part of a team, pushing a person who will never be able to run a marathon, because of a disability that I cannot remember right now.

Even quicker, Esquire pulled ahead of me…no surprise there and more quickly than ever before, I found myself to be the last runner in sight.  I hadn’t even gone half a mile when I realized I had to pee and I was alone on the course except for the chase car/police escort.  Seriously, you all know I have been escorted in the water as the last swimmer, and even as the last runner…but never this early on  in the race.  I also realized….this run would not be easy…I would have to fight for every step.

At mile 1, I stopped at a bathroom only to come out and find the police car idling…waiting for me.  At mile 2, my legs were jello already and I repeated my bathroom break.  I repeated this again at mile 3 apologizing to the poor officer who was probably wondering what in the world I thought I was doing running this thing…heck I was asking myself the same questions.  My knee felt squishy already, my feet were already beginning to ache, and my calves burned.

Soon, the My Team Triumph runners were passing me, with great words of encouragement as they whizzed past.  I felt awful.  This was the worst run I have had in a while or perhaps that I could remember.  I think my memory gets selective on this kind of thing.  I was only at mile 3 and I was already DONE.  Soon I realized that there was at least a couple of cars behind the police escort I had that he would not let pass me.  I moved to the side of the road so they could pass if he would allow them to.  He would not let them pass until I was about to pass the entrance to the free way and I would enter a park.  At least 30 cars passed me by.  HAHAHAH Seriously!  Talk about stopping traffic!  Mortifying and hilarious at the same time!

At this point, I have to pee again and am approaching a water station and I am over an hour into the run and only about 3.5 miles in.  I am realizing my pace is WAY slower than normal and the aches and cramps I had at the END of Nashville were already coming on quite significantly.  Combine this with the fact that the aid station was already packing up and getting ready to pull out by the time I got to it…this race was already looking awful for me.

My head started to lose focus.  I began to doubt whether I could actually finish this and how long it would take at my current pacing.  I realized where my head was and KNEW there is no way I would finish with thoughts like that, so I shoved them aside, and pulled forth my archives of Aaronisms, Coachisms, Adamisms, and now G.I Jessisms.

I pressed on.

The next aid station (at about mile 5) had 1 guy and a kid there with everything packed up.  The guy gave me a cup of water and asked me, “Are you gonna make it?”

I looked at him, square in the eye and said “Yes sir, if it takes all day, I will finish this!”

At this point I am walking a bit more than usual.  I can normally pull off 6 miles or so before I have had to walk.  Not this day.  I alternated walking and running and kept forcing that mans doubts and my own out of my head.

At mile 6, an aid vehicle passed me to check on me.  My head was NOT in a good space and I needed reinforcements.  I tried calling a number of people and finally reached G.I Jess. I cried. I don’t know if I can do this.  I told her where my body was at, where my head was at and most of all how lonely it was on this course, knowing there was no one around me at all.   She assured me I could do it.  She told me to cross that finish line, even if I have to walk the whole way.  Listen to my body and finish what I started.  I can do this she assured me.  What she didn’t say was that I had to run it.   What I heard behind all her words was that she believed I could finish.  I needed to hear that.

OK…I can do this.

Soon Aaron called me back and in his practical way he checked to make sure the pains I was feeling were not potential injury pains and that I was not simply being stubborn by staying out there.  In all honesty, I was not sure anymore.  At Nashville, I didn’t feel like this till almost the end it seemed and it seemed more painful too.   I told him I was still assessing and would NOT be stubborn about this.  Yet what I also heard in his words was permission to call the race if I needed to.  I needed to hear this too, not that I needed his permission, but to hear that it was ok to do so if necessary.

What I didn’t count on or consider until later while talking to Ben was this.  It was really cold out.  It was raining and I was doing more walking than running which meant I was not producing as much body heat and my body temp was dropping.   Ben told me I needed to consider that if I stay out til the finish, continue at current pacing or less, and have an unsupported course to boot…hypothermia is a huge risk…not to mention injury etc.  I asked what the signs are for hypothermia so I can make that call if I needed to.  Not good enough apparently.  By the time I was experiencing symptoms, I would not be in a mental position to be able to make a call.  The call to continue or not needed to be made before I experienced symptoms based on all other factors and that I am in weather/run conditions that could produce this.

At about this time that I was talking to Ben, I saw them pick up the 8 mile marker and I think I knew then I was toast for this race but didn’t want to admit it.  I told Ben I would consider everything and then make my decision. I tried to run some more to increase body heat but I had nothing left in my legs and everything hurt when I ran.  I went about another 1.5 miles when I decided to call for a ride.  I called Laurie who had my car keys and asked her to come get me.   A few minutes later, an aid vehicle came by telling me they were the last one and did I want a ride.  At this point I was starting to shiver and who knows how long it would take Laurie to get out of downtown and to me…so I jumped in their van where the heat was blasting!  Then I called and cancelled my ride and told her to meet me at the finish line.

It was a disappointing day.  A really hard run.  It was the first time I cried during a run and really doubted my ability to finish.  It was my first and hopefully last DNF.  Despite this, I know that wisdom says I made the right choice.  I don’t regret my choice to call it and I don’t deny that it was a huge failure of a run.  Part of me regrets deciding to do it in the first place, so soon after Nashville, but I think that is only because I NOW know that it was too soon.  My body wasn’t ready for such a long run quite yet. I couldn’t have known that before hand and it didn’t matter, I wanted to do this one, even though I didn’t know it until the last-minute.

What I regret more is that it is a month later and I still have not run more than a few laps around the building when G.I Jess tells me to.  So far, I have let that really bad run sap the love for running that I NOW realize I was building.   That is the part of all of this that is really discouraging.  That run beat me. And I am only now beginning to realize how bad and how much it hurts to know I can be so easily diverted on my path.

Sometimes folks, the journey sucks and hurts.  Sometimes the journey is not all fun and games and celebrations.  Sometimes, from out of no where you get knocked for a loop and you get to sit in the pain of disappointment.

and yet…

…The journey must continue.

No Regrets

In less than 10 days, I will be running my first ever half-marathon in Nashville.

Yesterday, I did my final long run before the race and am officially in “taper” time. I think “taper” time is my favorite time so far. I get to take it easy with short (relatively), easy runs. I will not run more than 5 miles in a given run this week and next week I will run less than 3 in a given run.

I have put in my time. I have done the work. I have logged the miles. Now, I just need to trust the training plan and my body to do what it has trained to do.

With that said, I am quite excited that in my final long run of 10 miles yesterday, I clocked a 16:85 min pace. For you crazy runners, that seems crazy slow. Call it what you want, but I am excited that I managed to sustain my slowest 5K time over 10 miles.

So I was talking to G.I. Jess about the race tonight and my time and what I hoped to finish in. I told her that I for sure thought I could finish in under 4 hours, thinking MAYBE 3:45. I promised her that when I was done, there would be nothing left in me. Everything I had would have been left on the race course. She suggested that I could do the whole thing in 3:35. I think she is crazy! Coach is crazy too, cuz he agrees with her!

She challenged my thinking on what giving my best looks like and what that translates to in time. I kept thinking in my head…but I just want to finish alive. She insisted that with all the hype and adrenaline and crowds and excitement of race day, I could definitely rock this thing out in 3:35. Essentially, as I have thought about her words, she was basically saying, what is the measurable result of “leaving everything I have on the race course”. A time goal. Whether I make it or not, doesn’t matter, really. What matters is did I set myself up with a measurable way of knowing whether I gave it my all or not. Did I set a specific goal and go for it and WIN or fail magnificently in my efforts. Either way, I win.

So, I thought about it and I am not only accepting her challenge, but I am raising the bar on myself.

3:30 is my goal time.

Yes, that is 5 minutes less than Jess’s expectation and hope for me. But here is my thought. My theory is that Jess is trying to stretch me out of my comfort zone. Taking 10 minutes off my expected time is HUGE for me. However, I kinda think that she thinks I can do even better that 3:35, but perhaps knows if she pushes for too much, I might see it as impossible and not even shoot for it. I don’t know that she thinks this…but I am thinking along the lines of reverse psychology practices, you know. So I figure, it is time I raise my own bar. If she thinks, with all my training I can easily pull off a 3:35. I shooting for better than that.

Leaving it ALL on the race course.

Nothing left to give.

No regrets.

I got this.

The Dreaded Fat Slap

I am not sure if I wrote about this before, I looked back over all my old posts and couldn’t find anything, so if I did, my apologies.  I know I shared this story in my TBL video last winter/spring, which is probably why I am not sure if I shared it here or not.

Anyway, anyone who has ever had a massive amount of weight to lose will know EXACTLY what I am talking about when I talk about the Phenomenon of the Fat Slap.   For those who don’t know, let me explain.

When a person of a certain size exercises vigorously strange things happen.  Weird noises are emitted from the body that should not be there.  If one does the given activity once or twice, it can sound like a fart, which of course is quite embarrassing!!  However, if one does the given exercise/motion repeatedly in a rapid fashion, it can sound rather like applause…except there is none!  Again, quite embarrassing!

What kinds of exercises might cause this sound to be emitted you ask?  Well, just about anything that causes you to move up and down.  Jumping Jacks, Jumping Jessie’s(jacks followed by a squat), Olga squat pulls, anything that is jumping related really or really really fast running!

What causes this you ask?  Again, let me tell you, for those who do not know.  A brain may tell its body to jump or run as the case may be.  So the body jumps.  However, what happens is, the body starts its return to earth long before the belly has had a chance to get up to the height of the rest of the body.  The body lands and shortly thereafter, the belly lands too…and slaps against the body…causing the dreaded “noise”.  Coach says this is my body applauding my efforts….I however, want it to withhold its applause and simply show its appreciation by growing smaller and smaller and simply SHUTTING UP!!

So how does one combat the dreaded Fat Slap?  Well, one doesn’t run at high rates of speed.  One doesn’t do jumping activities.  By refraining from such activities, the body is not forced to go in two directions at once and ultimately meet together in that humiliating fashion.

So…you must know, that I am not just talking about the Fat Slap in theory.  Sadly I have experienced it and work hard to never experience it again…up until now, my work has been mostly in avoidance methods.  However, when one hires a trainer to do a certain job that they are trained and experienced in doing, it is best I shut up and listed and do as they tell me to, right?

Theoretically.  However, when G.I Jess tells me to jump in some fashion I find myself timidly doing so.  She has pointed this out to me, about how timid I am being, but I am not sure she knows why.  (well if she reads this she will know now:-)  When I am supposed to hop backwards into a squat and then pull Olga to me, I first hop one foot back then the other.  Part of this is a balance thing.  NO WAY do  want to fall in front of all the mirrors and the entire gym!  Part of it may also be due to leg fatigue, at least at the end of a set.  However, much of it has to do with Fat Slap avoidance.

I realized all of this tonight when G.I Jess asked me to do a two footed jump and hit the pads she was holding with my knees, 15 times in a row.  At first I didn’t think I could do it.  I don’t like jumping!  I think I have good reason, don’t you?!  I started out pretty timidly, first one foot then the other going up.

She didn’t like that move.  After a couple tries I got a “Good Job” from her.  However, with that one came the “noise” and I reverted back to my one-footed ways.  Now mind you she is standing right in front of me,bent over.  In my imagination her entire view is taken up of my belly going up and down inches in front of her face and then…out pops this noise…Awful I tell you!!  Awful!

While I have all this going on in my head, I also want to do this stuff right.  I mean seriously, if I am not going to do what she asks me to and trust her expertise, why am I paying her?  By the time we got to the second to last set of this awfulness, I was finally getting comfortable with the motion and she wanted me to attempt it without a pause between jumps.

“Dear Lord, she knows not what she asks for!”, I thought.

I did it though and with every jump I heard, “SLAP!  SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!….PAUSE….1 FOOTED…Pause…SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

Either she didn’t notice or simply did not care or had no idea what the noise was.

So for my last set, I decided, I would just pretend it wasn’t happening. I did it.  Shot off 15 jumps in a row, no pauses.  Lots of Slapping going on….but whatever…one day, the Fat Slap will be a distant memory…for me and for her.

It is fascinating to me as I sit here, how much internal conversation goes on about this stuff and how much it holds me back from what I say I want.   I mean, what if there is another reality.  Perhaps no one notices, but me.  No one hears what I hear or sees what I see.  What if Jess heard nothing and saw nothing but a woman working hard, doing hard things.  What if I lived as if THAT were the truth..as opposed to all the above fodder.

I am certain this won’t change overnight.  I am sure I will still hesitate when she wants me to jump.  I am sure I will still have fears of grand embarrassment.  But perhaps, each time it will get a little bit less until I no longer hear the Fat Slap myself, regardless of my size.

Yes, that is where I want to be.

Magnificent Failure

This past week has been absolutely gorgeous in Michigan.  On Wednesday, my normal “no workout” day, I was itching to be outside and even to run, but knew I shouldn’t.  Fortunately, there are no rules about me going for a lovely walk through the forest!  So that is what I did.  I put on my flip-flops, left my jeans on (couldn’t be tempted to run in this gear!) and headed over to the State Park!

It was LOVELY!  It seems that it has been such a long time since I have simply enjoyed the outdoors without the pressure of training on me.  I strolled along my favorite 1 mile loop and couldn’t believe how different things looked without all the snow on the ground.  The ground felt different with flip-flops on instead of my dorkomatics!  As I walked I thought about the last few months and realized I was having a really good mental day.  I felt strong and healthy.  I love that when I have down time on a beautiful day, I just want to be out in it doing something active…as I walked along, I came upon a newly placed bench by the pond and I walked up to it a simply stood on it.  Effortless to get up there…like if I had stepped up onto a normal stair.  I stood on that bench looking around me, thankful for my life and my body and my journey and I had this thought…

“I wonder when G.I Jess is gonna have me doing crazy things like handstand push ups…”

Well, sometimes I am not the smartest tool in the shed.  I pulled out my phone and texted her my wonderings.

Her response…Friday…it will be part of your assessment.

My response?

YES!!! I can do this!  CRAP!!  WHAT AM I THINKING!!!  WHO DO I THINK I AM!!??

So Friday came and it was time to do my 1 month assessment.   I had decided that I would not find out my numbers this month but rather she would send them to Coach and Aaron and then they could tell me if I would be happy or not.  Still no numbers for me, but I would know if they were really good based on their reaction…cuz I know them!

I do know that my weight has gone up by.2 lbs because I refused to be weighed at the end of the day.  Instead I weighed myself in the morning.  As she started taking the other measurements, she seemed excited.  But who knows, really.  Perhaps she was trying to be extra encouraging…I don’t know her well enough.  She did say that in one measurement it was the best progress she has ever seen in 1 month.  Hmmm

We finished those and she brought me over to a wall in the middle of the gym. Oh heck no!  I am NOT doing this attempt in front of this whole place!  So we went to the class room.  Set up some mats all around to minimize any injuries I might incur, pulled out the camera….and well…see for yourself!

The set up...plan is to walk up the wall backwards then do the pushup!

This is about as far up the wall I got!

and....that was the end of THAT version...ended well, me laughing...

Then I decided to try the other version where I flip-up onto my hands.  My back would (in theory) be against the wall.  I attempted this.  Jess tried to help by grabbing my legs to help propel me up there…but…Jess is strong, but she is little still and there is still a lot of me to hold…and well, gravity, physics…found me quickly falling onto my head so I twisted and avoided a closed head injury and dissolved in laughter.  Jess did too.  Then we  agreed.  I am not ready for this yet…maybe in two months.  I think I scared Jess…hehehe  (No pictures of this attempt were to be had…Jess was too busy trying to keep me from killing myself to take a picture)

Magnificent Failure?  Yep I went big, tried something really hard and failed…and that is ok.  Failure is an option!  Never attempting or not going again is not!

2 months from now will be better!

Oh…and Coach and Aaron’s reactions to my numbers?  They were favorable.  Ok they were more than favorable.  They were quite excited.  Coach cannot believe I have not noticed a difference in my clothes and cannot wait to send a response to Jess.  Hmmm open communication between G.I Jess and Coach…I might be in trouble!!

Now…off for a run..5.75 miles is planned for today and 8 tomorrow…I got this!

Nashville is coming!

Oh Henry…Blasted Olga!

I know, it seems I disappeared again…but I have just been busy!

So last Monday, a week ago, I went in to see G.I Jess for our workout.  We had decided that instead of one hour long session with her, I would have 2 30 minutes sessions with her each week.  This came about after re-evaluating my schedule and the fact that I got so run down/sick so quickly and oh so awfully.

G.I Jess does not use typical weight equipment.  Everytime I have seen her, we have been surrounded by machines of all sorts…but we don’t use them.  So I went in to see her and she tells me she wants to introduce me to her “baby”.  Her “baby” was a 25 lb bag that is kind of shaped like a banana but filled with sand.  I decided this object would be called “Henry”.  Henry was going to be swung between my legs as I did a squat then I needed to use the power from my stand back up and my hips to propel Henry back up to where my arms are straight out in front of me and Henry is right there with them.

I don’t recall what else we did that day.  All I know is that I stood there talking to Jess for a bit and then as I left, I realized my legs were REALLY shaky.

The next day, I could barely walk.  The day after…it was even worse!  Then on Friday, she brought Henry back to the gym with her…and his little brother Hank.  Hank I like.  Hank is 15 lbs and is a Kettle bell.  Hank is welcome at any workout…Henry…well….Henry is that kid in middle school that nobody wants to hang around…but if you gave him a chance, you might find out he is a really great guy with a lot to offer.   I am trying to give Henry a chance to prove himself to me.

Today, I met Olga and was warned/informed that Helga is coming.  I do not wish to meet Helga.  Olga was enough.

Olga is a 35 lb sack of sand, but instead of being tightly packed in and all compact, it is sitting in what reminds me if a military duffle bag.  Fitting for G.I Jess, I guess. The bag seems to have a bunch of smaller bags of sand in it.  When you try to lift it, it is like lifting dead weight.  I could only imagine what I was going to have to do with Olga.

Here is what the deal was.  I get into a regular push up position on my hands and toes and walk myself backwards.  Then I need to reach forward and drag Olga along.  Walk backward some more and drag Olga.  After doing this, I have to go over to a mat and do push ups.  From there, I move on to rapid bicep curls with a resistance band.  Then I start all over.  Now that I think about it, I think I am mixing some things up, but regardless of the order…it was all obnoxiously difficult.   Finally at the end I had to jump backwards, squat into a sitting position and drag Olga straight back with me.  All the way across the gym floor.

The good thing about G.I Jess…is she is much like Coach and Aaron…she believes I can do far more than I think I can and asks me to do it as though it is no big deal.  The downside about G.I Jess is that she, much like Coach and Aaron, believes I can do anything, and simply asks me to do it.

As for tomorrow…I hope I can run.  No other option but to do so…and on Friday…I meet up with Olga and G.I Jess again!

Good night!  I must sleep now!


G.I.Jess AKA The Trainer

Meet G.I Jess, my trainer.  She is tough.  She is pint sized.  She is NOTHING I expected a female trainer to be like (not that I know what ANY trainer is like), she kicks my butt, she is highly motivating and encouraging-even if she is blowing smoke up my butt half the time!

So last week, I had my first official training session with Jess.  It was a short one, only 25 minutes.  But in that 25 minutes she helped me burn 350 calories!  Then she told me that workout is now my WARM-UP for my next session, which would be an hour long!  Seriously!  Have it done before we start at 7:30, she says.

That was my first sign of trouble!

The next day, I could hardly get out of bed!

That was my next sign of trouble!

Needless to say, I was afraid for my session tonight that was going to be an hour-long!

I was right to be afraid.  This little woman is…fierce.

She had me squatting in all sorts of ways, sometimes with weights, sometimes with a ball on the wall.  She had me crunching and stepping,  lifting and mt. climbing.  I kept trying to remind her that I had an interval workout for the half-marathon on Tuesday and I NEED my legs.

Her response was always, “It will be good!” as she refused to make eye contact and grinned!

I am not sure her version of good is the same as mine!

When she wasn’t telling me things will be good, she was giving me some song and dance about all this being easy and I just need to think easy!

She even said, “if it’s easy up here (pointing to her head), it will be easy everywhere!”

At this point I told her I was not told I needed to wear boots to the gym to keep the BS off my feet!

I also think her watch is broke.  Her 30 seconds seem to last FOREVER.  I know for SURE her counting is off.

But despite all that, I like her.  I will likely “complain” about her, but know that I like her!  I do like the feeling of accomplishment when I finished.  Better than that though, was the post workout stretching where I just get to lay there and she does all the work for once!

She is giving me the name/number of a dietitian.  She gave me a really funny/concerned look when I told her I burned 1575 calories on Sunday and ate less than 2000.  With my increased running, my calorie burns just keep increasing but I don’t know what to do with my diet.  Eat more?

All things to work on and tweak as I go along.

For now…let’s hope I can get out of bed in the morning.

I also think that if she and Coach were to ever meet…I would REALLY be in trouble.  I can only imagine the tag-teaming that would be going on from West Michigan to the “east side”.  There would be no escape for me…especially if we tossed Adam into the mix!  I would just have to rely on the Aaron’s merciful, gracious, and compassionate side to get some relief…but seriously…with a team like this on my side…how can I fail?!