**Sidenote: I know, I still have to write about the Warrior Dash**
It has been fascinating to me the last 2 weeks as I have slowly watched my expectations for myself get dashed and slashed. In a good way.
I am noticing how I compare myself against other women who do Crossfit, or anything for that matter, but in particular, Crossfit. I tend to think of myself as not as strong as the other women. Or not as fit as the others. I tend to allow myself to think that my workouts will always be scaled, in comparison to the other women. I don’t compare myself at all to the men. There is nothing to compare against. Most men, will always be stronger than me…as they should be!
This week, we had a workout that involved doing deadlifts (5 reps) of the maximum weight you can lift. CJ kept adding weight on and as I tried to calculate exactly how heavy this sucker would be as I added a 4th weight to each end of the bar, CJ stopped me and simply told me to quit trying to figure it out and to pick up the Bleeping Bar.
I tried and tried. CJ coached me over and over on how to lift the bar and how to get it up. He pointed out what I was doing wrong and what would make it easier. I still couldn’t life the bar up all the way to a full standing position. Finally he told me to take the last weight off each end (10 lbs off each end) and to lift the bar. I did. Twice. Then three more times.
CJ wrote that weight down as my max rep weight. 155 lbs. Which means he had me attempting 175 lbs!! WTF! He is crazy! I can’t lift that much! I am not strong enough!
The next morning, I couldn’t move. Seriously. It took me 40 minutes to be able to roll out of bed so I missed my morning Crossfit and wasn’t even sure I would be able to make it to an evening session. It hurt to breathe!
By the end of day I was good and went anyway. As I looked at the board, I saw Monday’s workout numbers displayed for all to see. This is what I noticed.
Few women had a max rep weight of MORE than 155. Only a few had at LEAST 155. Many had less than 155. As I looked at that board, I realized how often I sell myself short, and yet get super pissed when others judge me in the same manner. I smiled and shook my head as I realized, once again…I am stronger than I think I am…
So CJ’s job is to continuously raise the bar for me. Often I think he is out of his mind to think that I can do the things he asks, and yet…I always do what he asks. Perhaps not perfect, but I do give it my all. Daniel thinks I can lift over 200. He is crazier than CJ!
So there is this other board that has writing all over it in the gym. It is a board where everyone has written their 6 month goals down. I have not written anything on this board as of yet. I have no idea what to expect to be able to do in 6 months…but I am gonna.
The other thing we did this week is pull ups. I cannot do a single pull up. Right now when the class does these, I jump and pull on the bar, but that is about it. Well this week, CJ was teaching everyone how to actually walk through the mechanics of a pull up. He had me walking through it all too, as though I was going to be doing them sooner than I think.
So I am thinking….perhaps in 6 months I will be able to do a pull up. Perhaps that is what I will write on the board.
Raising the bar for myself…as CJ continues to raise it from his end.