I know I haven’t written for some time. I am sure many of you have been wondering where I have been. I have had many changes in my life, and I will get to an update, but that update I believe begins with this post first.
My journey has been called, The Road to Beautiful. Beautiful being some undefined place of peace and rest and feeling beautiful. A place where I felt spiritually, emotionally, and physically whole and healthy. I never knew when or if I would ever arrive at this vague place of being. On some level, I kind of thought it would be a life long journey and that Beautiful would only happen on the other side of Heaven.
I was wrong.
Beautiful, I have realized has always been present. I have always been in this place. I just didn’t know it. Shocker, right? To many of my dearest, Coach and Aaron and the like, they may be reading this and saying, ” well DUH, we told you so!”
As I look back over the last 8 months, I realize that sometime last fall I had come to a place of acceptance of the Beauty that lies within me, that has always been there. I had come to a place of being content with who I am, regardless of my size or weight. I was happy with the things God was doing in me and through me. I felt like I had a purpose and that there was a plan in place even if I didn’t know all the details. I was learning to hear God’s voice in new ways. I had learned to consistently identify and deal with my emotions in a healthy manner, instead of using food to numb out or to fill a void. (I still mess up from time to time though, please do NOT read perfection here) I had learned to extend mercy and grace to myself when I messed up. And…in all of this, I had hit a huge milestone and lost 100 lbs.
I felt spiritually, emotionally, and physically beautiful. Not perfect, but Beautiful, in spite of, or perhaps because of, my flaws. The key to arriving in such a place as this, has not been in my nutrition plan, a bible reading plan, or even in this blog…I realize now, the key lies in the ACCEPTANCE of what is true.
So yes, my long time readers and friends…I have come to realize that if Beautiful were to be a destination, I have arrived.
Right on Time.
…to be continued…