Giving It Away

Losing weight/fat is hard folks.  It just is.  We need to eat to live and yet we also need to not feed our addictions or emotions.  It takes incredible self-awareness to NEVER eat out of addiction or emotion.  I consider myself to be fairly self-aware and yet I can’t say with 100% certainty that I will never again eat for any other reason than valid hunger or valid need for adequate nutrition.  I am not certain there is anyone alive who could do that.

Tricks must be used to help you get through as best you can on days when it is especially hard.   Sometimes, I run away and hide.  Literally.  I have come home to some yummy something being cooked and I will literally go straight to my room and text my family to let me know when the kitchen is cleaned up and that food is put away so I can come out and safely make my dinner.   I have also avoided social gatherings at times.  Yep.  Easter dinner 2012?  I was NOT present. I was still new into this new program and did not trust myself to pull this off well.

Those are some of my avoidance strategies to get through the worst of days.  I also have a favorite thing to do that is far more positive and reserved for days when I feel stronger.

Sometimes, if I REALLY want brownies, I will make them.  I will smell them.  I will cut them.  I will enjoy them in every possible way.  Then I will think about my goals and my plans.  All I have sacrificed so far and how far I have come.  I think of you all, who read so faithfully and how eyes are always on me.  I will think of the choice I have.  This piece of brownie is mine for the eating.  I COULD eat it.  There would certainly be a cost and a consequence.  I would certainly have to fess up to Leif and Tate(ugh, I hate telling Tate when I mess up-he is worse than telling Leif).  My results will be reflected in it.  I think about why I want that brownie(or whatever it is).  I process through whether it is emotions I am feeding or just a craving and is the cost of that brownie worth it.  I will be honest, sometimes when I am MOST a woman, it is certainly worth it to eat the whole PAN of brownies (no Leif and Tate I haven’t made that choice in the last 5 months)

Then after all the smelling and processing is done I make my choice.  I either choose to eat MY brownie or I CHOOSE to give it away.

99% of the time when I have done this with some food item, I have chosen to give the item away and have ALWAYS been surprised by how freeing it was to hold that item as mine to have and then to give it away.  For some reason it no longer fell in this category of “off-limits” items.  There is incredible power in the choices we make.

I realized recently, I have been doing this in some variation for some time.  When living in GR, I would buy things, dole out a reasonable serving, then take the rest over to Aaron and Adam’s house for them to eat.  If I wanted cookies, I made the boys cookies.  It allowed me a small treat without the temptation of the entire container of whatever it was at my disposal.  At my gym, they have tootsie rolls on the counter.  At least once every time I go there I pull one out, smell it, then toss it at the trainer and he eats it for me!  I have bought fast food and then given it away to homeless people.

At times during the last 5 months, as I have been frustrated with the process or not thrilled with a particular weeks results or the plan that week was incredibly hard, and I was feeling particularly like Leif was just a big ole meanie and he could never possibly understand and WAH WAH WAH!!!….I would remind myself of the choice I made.  I could have walked away from this journey 5 months ago.  But I didn’t.  I CHOSE to stay in it.  I CHOSE to hire Leif to do what he does best.  I CHOSE to put my diet in his hands.  I didn’t HAVE to do any of this.

I CHOSE.

and knowing that I have choices every day makes all the difference in my success or my failure.

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2 thoughts on “Giving It Away

  1. Oh, I have so much to say about this post. Especially the making of the food and not eating it. That has more of a psychological affect than you even know! Let’s chat about this live some day. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. Oh amen AMEN! I tell my niece all the time that I am CHOOSING not to eat sugar right now. In fact, I have to correct myself sometimes, too. It’s not that I “can’t” have it – I am a grown-up – I can eat whatever I want! But right now, I am choosing not to eat sugar because of how much better I feel when I don’t. So AMEN to this post and this concept!

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