My regular readers know that I have declared that if this last-ditch 20 week attempt with this new guy doesn’t show different results, then I am done. Done spending money and time and emotional energy on something that doesn’t seem to want to change. I will always workout and eat well, but the energy that I put into this will be done if Leif doesn’t find the answer to my body.
This, has been my very serious declaration for the last 10 weeks. I have not wavered in this stance. Until now.
The other day I was talking to my sister-in-law. She was checking in to see how I was doing and I shared with her just a little bit of last weeks really tough week, but that I was doing better this week.
She tried to encourage me but what got to me hardcore was when she spoke of my nephew, Gavin, the 12-year-old. The one who ran his first 5K with me a few weeks ago and has already formed a team for the Detroit Half Marathon as a relay.
She told me how on multiple occasions Gavin has brought me up in conversation about how much he admires me because I don’t give up even when I don’t get what I want. Even without results I keep searching for the answer. He has talked of watching me workout and seeing how hard I work. He watches how I eat and notices what I DON’T eat even at parties and gathering where in a normal world having a treat is totally acceptable. He has noticed my discipline. He told his mom that he hopes he is like me, in that way. That when he has something he really wants, that he would not give up, even when it is hard.
Dema expressed her gratitude for showing that example to her son. For teaching him the value of hard work and discipline, no matter what.
For him, and the others, I can NEVER quit. I can NEVER give up. Not until the very day that God takes my very last breath from me.
I cannot teach them how to quit, to give up, or to give in to circumstances. They are my vision for why I need to stick to this. No. Matter. What.
New declaration. Even if at the end of my 20 weeks with Leif and my body still is not changing…I am not quitting.
But really, I think Leif has the answer 😉