Things I Am Noticing

  • This week I wore three skirts that I have not worn since I was in the 290’s over a year ago.
  • I no longer seem to fear food as much.  By this I mean, I am not afraid to eat the egg yolks because of the fat content in them or to eat beef because it is higher calories than chicken.  I am enjoying reasonable portion sizes of meat and unreasonable amounts of vegetables of all kinds and reasonable amounts of fruit!
  • I am finding great freedom in not counting calories.  It has been suggested before that I try an intuitive eating method before and I was too afraid of myself to try it.  I thought for sure that I did not have the self-control to eat in such a way.
  • I ate some chips with my nephew at the movies the other day, after ward I felt awful.  Not in a guilty, self condemning way, but in a physical way.  I was lethargic and totally lacking energy.  I hated that feeling.  Chips are just not worth it.  Lesson learned.
  • As I look back over the last three years I know fully and without a doubt, I never lost focus.  I may have had to back up the truck and regroup at times, but my mission and my vision have remained constant.  I am committed to losing weight and being healthy.   The path to get there may have changed often, but my destination has always been the same.
  • I am getting stronger every day.  I already see improvements in my push-ups.  I was not expecting to see such huge gains physically so quickly!
  • When CJ introduces a new exercise to me or gives me some crazy weight to lift, I am intimidated out of my mind…for a moment.  Then I remember…I can do this and all things through Him who strengthens me.  I also remember if it really is physically impossible for me in THIS moment, CJ will recognize this and will ask for just a little more than I think I can do, then will scale the rest down…and it won’t be impossible forever.
  • I have noticed that when driving and at work, I seem to sit up straighter.  And when I car dance I am noticing a distinct use of abdominal muscles.  I think this means my core is getting stronger!
  • I am actually SEEING the results in my own body and as a result my obsession with the numbers is so much less.  I still want to know them, but not in an anxious way.  I want to know for curiosity’s sake.  I am curious to see how what I am seeing in the physical universe translates into a number.  I know I am gaining muscle so actual weight loss may not be as high as I think and at the same time, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a 20 lb loss when I next get on the scale.  Regardless, I know my Body fat is changing.  Besides, Aaron has done a pretty cool spreadsheet for me with graphs and charts.  I need a 2nd set of numbers to see it go to work!
  • Speaking of body fat changing, I notice things hang differently now and the fat in my legs in particular feels less dense, looser in some way.  Could this be because fat cells are being broken up?
  • One month ago I met Daniel and was terrified of his method and his plan proposal.  It was overwhelming and intense…and yet at the end of a really long conversation, one can’t help but get on board with his passion.  His passion doesn’t seem to be about weight loss as much as it is about whole health.  Weight loss is a definite by-product though.  While this blog has focused a lot of energy on the weight loss piece, I have always been on a journey towards whole health.  I am noticing that what once was super scary and intimidating…is so much easier than I thought.
  • I am happy.
  • I feel peaceful.
  • Grace abounds these days.  I am very clear that I know little of what it means to live a paleo lifestyle and I am also clear that I will not be perfect in it…at least not this month maybe not this year.  But I seem to have huge amounts of grace for myself in this.
  • Hope is restored.  It IS possible for me to lose weight!

 

If you are like me and have had a goal for a long time that you have been fighting for but has been dangling just out of reach…weight loss orotherwise…do NOT give up.  Keep pressing on.  The one who perseveres wins!

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