I am a bit behind on blogging(again) but have some time this morning so figured I would catch up.
A few weeks ago I GOT MAIL! Nope,not email. Regular old snail mail. It was a race registration form. I get these in the mail a lot these days since I have done a few races now. So, really this was not a NEW kind of mail for me to receive. With race registrations, they are often to races I have done before and I look at them and remember when I last did that race….and I smile in recollection of fin times to be had.
Super5k 2010?- the first 5k I ran without fans/friends running with me or cheering from the sidelines.
Corktown 2010?- ummm this was the awful run turned great run when I realized I ran with a fever and the flu and passed out(literally) the next day on my friends floor.
Nashville 2010- Hello! Need I explain the memory of the hard work and time put in for this one and the feeling of sweet victory as I crossed the finish line of my first ever half marathon.
Are you getting my drift? are you pickin up what I am layin down?
So this time I saw a race registration and wondered which one it was. As I looked it all over I realized where it was from. It was from The Fifth THird River Bank Run in Grand Rapids. A 25K That awful race I attempted 2 weeks after my big victory at Nashville.
This was the race where I had a police escort starting at about 1/4 mile in because I was ALREADY the last runner.
This was the race where it took me over an hour and 3 bathroom breaks to get to the 3 mile aid station only to find it already packing up.
This was the race that hurt from the beginning.
The one that I. Did. Not. Finish.
I hate that race.
I did not run for over a month after that one. I had no desire to run again and was afraid I had forever lost something new and thrilling that I had found.
I took that race registration and immediately threw it in the trash without even considering whether I would attempt it again. In that moment and even still, I never want to run that race again. I know. One day, I may decide I want to redeem that run and be able to say that it did NOT beat me.
But not this year. Nope, not this one.
That same week, I was cleaning out my closets and dresser and I found my river bank run t-shirt.
I never wear it.
Almost all of my race shirts I wear with great pride. Those I don’t wear I look forward to the day when I can wear them(they are too small, cuz apparently runners don’t wear anything bigger than a size large in some races) But that shirt, every time I see it, I get angry and bitter.
I folded that shirt up and tucked it way in the bottom corner of my t-shirt drawer. I can’t bring myself to throw it away, but yet I cannot wear it either.
Yes. Something tells me I will run the River Bank Run 25K again one day. But no, not this year.
This year, I am going for a repeat of my greatest run ever, the Nashville Half Marathon. And yes, it is 2 weeks before the RBR!