Wayne County Wacko!

Sounds like a serial killer, doesn’t it?  Don’t worry, this post is not about a serial killer…unless we are referring to Demond “the Serial Demon Killer”….but I am not referring to him either.  Read on, friends.  Read on.

So you know I had a rough week last week.   At some point, I posted on FB that I wish I knew how to kickbox because that would probably be a better outlet than eating donuts when I am pissed off.   Soon, Demond commented back asking if I wanted to try during our workout on Saturday.

Now, I don’t know why, but I had momentarily forgotten that the man is military trained and has an MMA (mixed martial arts) background, so I never thought about coming right out and asking him.  He clearly didn’t forget his background and training though, so when he offered, I remembered, and said YES!

I could hardly wait for our workout on Saturday!  I was going to get to hit things…him!  HAHA

After the previously mentioned “Demond time” passed and he showed up wearing his military fatigues (did I mention he is in the army…thank a soldier would you all?) and we headed down to the gym, he tells me the first thing he is going to do is wrap my wrists and hands.

What??  Why would my wrists need to be wrapped?  How hard will I be punching?  Seriously?

Yep.  Seriously.

He wraps me up, puts the gloves on and suddenly I feel like Rocky Balboa.  Queue music.   I am hopping around, taking swings, ready to go 12 rounds to the death.  I am being silly in all my excitement for this workout.  Imagine that!

Demond, however, was serious.  I needed to learn a few things first, apparently, and it was NOT a laughing matter.

We walk over to a corner of the gym floor.  Ok, Demond walked, I bounced and hopped around.

He remained serious, teaching me how to jab and do a right cross, a right hook, and upper cuts.  He very seriously taught me how to stand and how to move around on the floor and finally, how to duck(when he takes a swing back at me.)  As we moved through these warm ups I began to realize, that this is NOT going to be easy.  He hasn’t even started with me yet, and I am already quite winded.

We got ready to get started.  He set up the parameters of our “ring”.  I got all excited again and started bouncing around again, demanding I be given a ring name.  Don’t all great boxers have a fun name?

He said if I survive Round 1, he will give me one.

Fair enough.

Round 1 was tough.  Demond kept moving around the ring, so I had to continuously advance on him so I was not reaching in my punches.  At one point, he was backing up and I noticed he was backing into a wall.  I got a little excited!  I SOOO had him!  I am swinging my upper cuts like mad.  I am thrilled.  I got him!  Then, all of a sudden, he reaches around me, taps my shoulder and spins away from the wall….

GRRRRRRRR……..I so did not have him, he just let me think I did…for a hot second.  But something about tapping my shoulder seemed like he was teasing me.  Like playing tag.  “You’re it!”, is what that tap said.  Which meant, I got caught, which equates to losing…which I don’t like to lose.  So I went after him again and was sooo glad when he said the round was done.  I was so tired.

Must have water.  Demond was kind enough to hand me my water bottle and to flip the straw piece up so I could drink…but I looked pretty silly holding it with these big ole gloves on my hands.

Round 2 was about to begin, and I demanded my hard-earned ring name.  Since I am continuing to be silly (whenever I can breathe) about this, and I live in Wayne County, he dubbed me the Wayne County Wacko! (at least I assume those are the reasons he dubbed me that!)

So I introduced myself (since he was still all serious) for Round 2.  The crowds (in my head) were going wild!  This was gonna be an epic round!  The WCW is back to fight again! Do you hear the crowds?  Instead of a hot chic walking around in a bathing suit holding up the round card, in my head there is a hot half dressed man with that job.  You are with me, right ladies?

This round, he started taking swings back at me, which meant the ducking thing had to come into play!  Talk about a quad workout!  Fortunately, they were slow swings, preceded by a warning to duck!

Finally came Round 3, the championship Round.  The title was on the line for the WCW.  Finally Demond started laughing as I bounced around, ready to win this thing.  He said he didn’t know what I was doing with all the bouncing, it doesn’t help.  Maybe.  Maybe not, I thought.  But it is fun!

Round 3 came and went with lots of hard punches thrown, lots of ducking and chasing him around the ring.   Rocky may be able to go 12 rounds, but I ain’t Rocky, yet.  3 was enough, especially when in about 30 minutes we burned 537 calories!

I love kickboxing…and we haven’t even done any kicking yet!!  Well, I discovered I like hitting things anyway and he is good enough to let me take some swings at him!

On a sidenote, despite him being dressed in his military fatigues, at one point we were talking and I rushed him.  I grabbed him around the waist as if I could actually take him down. Who was I kidding?  Note to self:  Not a good idea to rush a man who A.  has wrestled and been apart of MMA for many many years.  B. has been trained in the military and wrestled for them. C.  Currently trains MMA.

He quickly threw out his hip and thankfully only TOLD ME what would happen and where I would end up if I REALLY wanted to rush him.  I joked that I was too fast for all of that…but really, I didn’t want to find myself laying on the ground, so I backed off and left well enough alone.  The WCW won the boxing championship that day, she didn’t need to lose all that glory by ending up on the gym floor in front of all the kids playing basketball nearby!


I got an amazing right cross! Ka POW!!!

Jab! Jab! Watch Out Now, the WCW is in the ring!

Don't let your guard down, My fierce uppercuts might KO you!




5 thoughts on “Wayne County Wacko!

  1. PRICELESS!!!! I had more fun than you think Kim! Next time we incorporate knew strikes and elbows then must you get those down, we go into kicks. Remember, the knee drill is a whole lot of fun, lol! Yes world, the Demon Killer has been ko’d by the Wayne County Wacko but he enjoyed every bit of it!

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