Too Much Power

SO you may have read the previous post about my gain and my frustration and disappointment and the whole 9 yards of whining and what not.  It was a rough few days last week.   I am not gonna try to cover it up and lie.

I let those scale results take me out of the game for a solid 2 days.  During that time, I cried a lot.  And I failed to let myself care about meal planning.  I ate ok but I have no record of what I ate and whatever it was, it was not pre-planned and accounted for.

On Friday, I decided to step on the scale again and was shocked to see my weight down 5 lbs from 2 days earlier.  Suddenly I was all smiles again (until I found out my car would cost 2 grand to fix-but that is another story)

Over the weekend, I did a lot of thinking and noticing.  I have given that blasted piece of equipment a whole lot of power to control my emotions not just the past few days but in the past as well.  It is not good, if every time I get on the scale, my emotions soar or sink depending on the results.  While it is good to notice and know that I am feeling these things, I do not want my mood to be dictated by a number.

This roller coaster is simply not healthy for me.  I can’t keep doing this to myself.  All it does is de-rail me and send me careening off a mountain top.

So I made a decision and told Kelly right away.  From now on, I do not see the scale results.  She can email or text Coach and Aaron, like Jess used to.  She or they can decide when/if I ever know those numbers.  As for me though, I will get on that scale backwards and let Kelly use those numbers for whatever she needs them for.  As for me and my emotional health,  I don’t need them.  I need my sanity more.  I need to be able to stay focused and see the big picture.

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3 thoughts on “Too Much Power

  1. Ah, much, much better! I have a friend of mine that suffered from severe anorexia when she was a teenager. She absolutely refuses to own a scale and tells her doctor when she goes for a physical not to tell her the “number”. This has been going on for 30 years.

    But she is healthy, both physically and emotionally. It is part of her survival skills.

    Congrats on recognizing and having compassion for yourself, Kim.

    Jan

  2. I think this is GREAT! The scale is a little metal machine that should have NO power over your emotions. The way you LIVE YOUR LIFE is what is important. You are making great choices and you are turning your body into a healthy, fit, athletic MACHINE with every bite you take and every workout you kill. Keep up the great work, persevere, hang in, etc.

  3. Awesome!!!!! You know what you are doing. I admire you drive and will continue to cheer for you, you strong intelligent superwoman!
    Go Kim Go Kim, Hoot Hoot!!

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