SO you may have read the previous post about my gain and my frustration and disappointment and the whole 9 yards of whining and what not. It was a rough few days last week. I am not gonna try to cover it up and lie.
I let those scale results take me out of the game for a solid 2 days. During that time, I cried a lot. And I failed to let myself care about meal planning. I ate ok but I have no record of what I ate and whatever it was, it was not pre-planned and accounted for.
On Friday, I decided to step on the scale again and was shocked to see my weight down 5 lbs from 2 days earlier. Suddenly I was all smiles again (until I found out my car would cost 2 grand to fix-but that is another story)
Over the weekend, I did a lot of thinking and noticing. I have given that blasted piece of equipment a whole lot of power to control my emotions not just the past few days but in the past as well. It is not good, if every time I get on the scale, my emotions soar or sink depending on the results. While it is good to notice and know that I am feeling these things, I do not want my mood to be dictated by a number.
This roller coaster is simply not healthy for me. I can’t keep doing this to myself. All it does is de-rail me and send me careening off a mountain top.
So I made a decision and told Kelly right away. From now on, I do not see the scale results. She can email or text Coach and Aaron, like Jess used to. She or they can decide when/if I ever know those numbers. As for me though, I will get on that scale backwards and let Kelly use those numbers for whatever she needs them for. As for me and my emotional health, I don’t need them. I need my sanity more. I need to be able to stay focused and see the big picture.