To Go Or Not To Go

A year ago, when I last applied for TBL, I decided that I would not apply again.  There is no need.  I am doing this on my own.  I am on 2 years of solid work with no lengthy lapses.  Sure I haven’t lost what I have wanted to lose, but it hasn’t been for not trying, that is for sure.

So now, they just added a casting call in Detroit and I am wondering.  If I don’t go, will I wonder if this could have been my season?  Could I have made it?  Would they ever choose someone who has run a half marathon at my size or who competes in triathlons?  Will I have doubts and regrets if I don’t?  If I do, will I feel like I am selling out or doubting my ability to do this on my own?

I don’t feel this way now, but I wonder how heavily the questions will come if I let an opportunity pass without even an attempt.

I don’t know if I will go to yet another casting call on Saturday or not.  I have been thinking about it for over a week since I first found out that there will be one here.  All I know, is I am wondering…what would I say differently this time that might catch the ear of some casting director?  Do I really want my life and my story broadcast on national television?  Every time I go to one of these things, I have to consider that as a real possibility.  Would I be going to the Casting call simply to be able to say I tried or because I really want the opportunity?  Do I not want to WANT the opportunity to avoid disappointment?  Is there a difference between wanting something and not wanting to want?  What would my motivation be to be on the show?  Money?  That seems shallow, but man 250K sure would be nice!  Knowing what I know about my body now, would the show and its methods even work for me?  Would it cause more harm than good?  Is there a way to know that ahead of time?  Can I handle Bob and/or Jillian when I think Jess and Mama Kelly are tough enough?

Regardless, I am in this journey for life…my life…no matter what I choose.


8 thoughts on “To Go Or Not To Go

  1. While I have no idea what it really takes to be cast on that show, I must say it seems like your evolution is beyond that. I know I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but I guess what I’m saying is either way, you seem to be in the best place you can right now. Whatever you decide to do, just be you. There’s no wrong way to do that. 🙂

  2. Hi. I am 330nomore’s wife. I understand your thinking completely on this. I never went to audition but I did send in a tape years ago. Still in the struggle tho doing better physically now. There is part of me that thinks it would be easier to step away from everyday life and focus on one goal but then life whacks u on the head when u get back. Then i think I have come so far by myself that I don’t want to give up on the fact that I can do it myself. But who am I kidding if BL called I would goooooo lol So if u get chosen and need a female partner who does runs and does triathlons I will volunteer to be your partner :0)

    • HEY!!! glad you stopped by!! If I need someone who is rocking it out LIving big and still working hard…I will let you know!! That could be a good angle to work!!!

  3. I’d go and see if they are interested in you then you can decide. If I could step out of my life for a few months and end up on the ranch I would do it in a heart beat.

  4. I agree, I think you go, and THEN decide if the opportunity arises…you can always say No. Nothing better than having the upper hand. And if you are not picked, then I think it is just God telling you that you are on the right path and are/can/will/must make it on your own, and that is OK too!

  5. Yea, see, I’m one of those people who would have to go just to put periods where you have question marks now. Either way, I wish you nothing but success!

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