So you know that Jess has put me on race restriction until Girls Best Friend. I can swim, bike, and run but not at race training intensity. As long as I can keep my endurance up in all the events so I can do GBF at the end of August I am good.
Tomorrow though is the race I had signed up for on a whim for a buck before I was put in time out. I got a couple of friends to sign up too and then had to bail. I was ok with this decision. I agreed to it. I know that Jess has my best interests and my primary goal of weight loss in mind when she asked me to not do it. I know that I am not a victim here to her decisions. Like I said, I agreed to trust her and her expertise and her plan. I hired her for a reason. She knows what she is doing. But I am realizing that as I know my friends from GR are sitting down in Monroe, getting ready for the race, SOOO close, but I won’t see them till tomorrow, I am really really disappointed that I am not with them. I don’t get to have the pre-race panic. The “Jitter Shits” (as Aaron calls them) will not be mine to be had in the morning. When I look out over the swim course, I won’t be wondering if I can do it, instead I will be sad that I don’t get to tri.
I will be most excited for Jen, Virg, and Antje…3 AMAZING strong women who will do it! While I cheer on my friends, I will choose to trust Jess and her plan and NOT do the tri anyway.
Because I can you know. Have been tempted to do it anyway, except it is a longer swim than I have yet done…so I would be a tad scared of that…and because I promised Jess I wouldn’t. Cuz of COURSE I told her I was wanting to do it anyway….sigh….sometimes I wish I could lie….cuz then I could have simply NOT told her what I WANTED to do and then done it and simply not have told her…except….I can’t.