This is a post I have been hesitating to write for a couple of reasons but I am going to write it now.
A few weeks back I met with the nutritionist for the first time. I spent 2 hours with her telling her what I have been doing, what has worked, what hasn’t; what I am doing for exercise now and my running plan and soon to be triathlon training plan and not to forget my workouts with Jess. She gave me a whole lot of information and a food plan that involves eating 5-6 times a day. Not a problem, that has always been my goal anyway.
Ugh, I cannot get my thoughts straight so this may turn into a ramble/rant.
Here is the gist of how I feel about The Nutritionist.
I do not like her. I don’t like her plan. I don’t like how I feel about myself when I am with her or after I talk to her. Her plan feels cumbersome and complicated and I know I am resisting that change. I know I need to relax and really work to give it a fair shake. I have questioned my timing in adding her to the mix of things when i had just added Jess to the picture and was heading into an intense training schedule, leaving little time for learning things new. I also know that the time I have had, I have not used wisely in this regard because I have been resisting it. Sigh. While questioning the timing, I also know that it was imperative that I find out what was going on with me calorically and nutritionally since things were not changing and I was beginning to have meltdowns, physically unable to do what I needed to do. So I guess it is not seeing her I question, it is more trying to implement a radical change to the plan in the midst of all of this.
What is her plan you ask? Well, it is calorie based…sort of. Instead of counting calories, I would count exchanges. So I need to take my serving of whatever and look in a book to determine how many starches or meats or fats etc, it is. I have to eat these exchanges in certain combinations throughout the day.
- Breakfast: 2 starches, a meat, a fat, and a milk.
- Snack: 1 Starch and 1 fruit
- Lunch: 2 starches, 3 meats(3oz of meat), a fat, and something else
all this and mixing in 7-8 veggies a day.
Her plan is higher carb, because she knows I am doing a ton of running and need those for fuel and yet I still need lots of protein for muscle repair.
While I have never been one to say that carbs are bad necessarily, being a calorie counter, I have tended to eat less of them simply because they were not worth the calories to me. So this higher carb thing is playing a mind trick on me. It is completely opposite of what I have been doing for over a year now.
Here is what I know or am at least beginning to see:
- I can be perfectionistic at times and not being able to do this thing right 100% of the time is discouraging. SO what I am beginning to see as I write out my thoughts on this is that instead of really working it to my advantage and learning this program like I learned calories, I am just not doing it most of the time. I still watch what I eat and eat healthy, most of the time, but I have not been oh so diligent in the counting.
- I know that she threw a whole plan at me so quickly because of the intensity of my training schedule. She just happens to be running Nashville as well, so she understands nutrition but also nutrition/fueling for an endurance race. I really SHOULD be tapping this resource! I know she has added lots of carbs to my plan because of the running. She set it up so I would be at my best come race day.
- I know I am being stubborn, arrogant, and resistant about anything she tells me. For whatever reason I am just not liking her. Oh yeah, I know what it is…in my first meeting with her, she told me she didn’t believe that what was in my food log I showed her was accurate. That I was eating more than that. Ummm, yes, I have lied in the past about food. Ask Aaron, he can tell you! However, My food log is pretty accurate. If I had McDonald’s, it is in there. If I had cookies or ice cream, it goes in there. Up until that moment, my food log was just a piece of paper that held a record of what I ate. But in that moment I felt incredibly judged. I know I need to let that go. It is interfering with my ability to hear her.
- I know I am slightly pissy about the fact that my body is not/has not been responding the way I want it to, on the scale. Please do not hear that I am not pleased or excited about all the other changes that are happening, that is not the case. However, I am a bit jealous that a simple calorie counting and workout program is not working for me as it does for others. Just read some of the stories of people on my “other inspirations” side bar. It seems somewhat, ok alot, unfair that I can work as hard as I have, be so diligent in counting and it doesn’t work, to the point that I have to pay someone to tell me how to eat??? Yep, definitely a bit bitter about that one. Jess and Coach and Aaron…I KNOW that changes are happening. I am pleased with those…AND I am frustrated by this piece of it. It can be both.
ok, this is an awful blog post/rant. However things seem a little clearer in my head space about this and as you all know, my blog is primarily for me. Most of the time I manage to write coherently. Today is not one of those times. Today is about me processing things and getting them out of my head so I can hopefully move forward!