OK OK OK Already! No, still don’t need a search team! After that quickie blog post, I headed “home” (to GR) for the weekend! So here is another quickie for you all before I head to sleep after a long, full day!
Since my last full update almost 2 weeks ago, I gained and am sitting at 297. Like good friends that they are, both Coach and Aaron checked in with me after their weekly text of this news. I was frustrated but ok. Or so I thought. After a week as I was constructing a blog post in my head while running, I realized that perhaps I wasn’t dealing as well as I thought I was. I hadn’t actually written my food log out in about a week and was starting to allow myself little “treats” justifying it with knowing, at least in my head, that my calories were and continue to be a struggle to get them all in. I also was not spending time on meal planning. Up until this point I had been having breakfast and lunch made up ahead of time and a plan in place for dinner, most nights. I realize in hindsight that I had all of these things rationalized and logically so. One of my best friends had decided to move and needed to do so from the time the decision was made in about 3 weeks time, so I was spending much time at her place helping her, all the while keeping up with my running program and spending some time with my family (nieces and nephews)
Yes, I was suddenly much busier than before. I am trying to balance not being incredibly hard on myself but allowing some grace for the circumstances. But there is also the reality that I was not dealing as well with the gain as I thought I was. SOME of all of the above was me feeling like a failure and wanting to give up. This grace thing is a tough balancing act!
I do wish I would hurry up and get to the day when I recognize this immediately and not a week later!
I DO continue to be incredibly busy these days as you can tell from the lack of writing going on, however the other things are back on track. Well, ok I am sucking at writing things down but I am tracking and back to my regularly scheduled diet.
I have been running 4 days a week for longer and longer periods of time and have added a personal trainer to my program for strength training that will be happening the other 3 days a week. More on the trainer later though! However, I have agreed to a scale ban for the next month! So no weigh ins for me as The Trainer has asked me to not use one and to learn to see results in other ways at least for one month.
I may have to turn my scale over to her though! I have already violated this. It is amazing! I have not had the struggle I thought I would have with having a home scale until I am told I CANNOT use it. Then, all of a sudden that is all I want to do. Would you believe I actually got on that thing at least 5 times last week??!!! I NEVER DO THAT! The numbers have not moved!
Coach says I have a scale addiction. I am not so sure that is the case. I think I just like control. Or…maybe I just don’t like the word “addiction”.
We will see what happens.