KFC Confessional

I had KFC tonight.  And still….am struggling to get to my 1800 calories for the day.  I am sitting at 1460.  This is the way my week has gone.  If I am tracking, I am too good at maximizing healthy, filling foods, into as few calories as possible.  I have even managed to figure out how to work snacks into my work day, which is hard to do given the job I do.

So why do I feel guilty about the KFC if I am not over calories?

Here is why.

KFC is a crutch for me.  It is comfort food.  I only want it when I am stressed or something emotional is going on.  With that said, I did  not plan to eat KFC tonight.  Had I pre-planned or even pre-thought about KFC, I would have sent an SOS text out into the world.  Instead, here is what happened.  No excuses, just the facts.

1.  I gained 2 lbs this week.  Don’t know how, but I did.Been somewhat (ok a lot) discouraged by this.

2.  Been especially crabby and tired this week.  My cold is back.  I know I am retaining water which means one thing and one thing only…and I have been feeling especially lonely this week…probably triggered by the same thing causing water retention.

3.  I had a long day at work.

4.  Received a not so pleasant email from a friend accusing me of some not so pleasant things that I don’t want to deal with.

5.  On my way home, I was dealing with some of the natural consequences of 18 months unemployment…not so fun.

After finishing up some somewhat stressful phone calls, I headed to the kitchen to make some dinner only to find a bucket of KFC there.  Without thinking, I pulled it out and ate.

It was only afterwards that my brain kicked in and I realized what I had done AND how that kind of eating was directly related to my day and the emotions involved.

I hate when I realize this behavior.  Like I said, no excuses.  I ate what I ate, for the reasons I ate.  The only way to change it is to puke it up which just leads to a whole new pattern of behavior that is completely unacceptable in my eyes…(which I have never done before, by the way).

So now, I get to move on.  But those great theories I have of not letting the past define you and letting things be what they are and not getting sucked into the shame cycle…are soooo much easier to talk about…when on the other side of it all…


9 thoughts on “KFC Confessional

  1. When did you last have your vitamin D levels checked? The test is called 25-hydroxy.

    It sounds like you could use some vitamin D supplementation!!! http://www.womentowomen.com/healthynutrition/vitamind.aspx

    —Vitamin D deficiency may be characterized by muscle pain, weak bones/fractures, low energy and fatigue, lowered immunity, symptoms of depression and mood swings, and sleep irregularities. Women with renal problems or intestinal concerns (such as IBS or Crohn’s disease) may be vitamin D deficient because they can neither absorb nor adequately convert the nutrient.—

      • HA..been reading through some old posts…looking for something….and saw this comment…Ironically enough when I had my annual physical…My Dr wanted me to start taking Vitamin D…well I stopped taking them after I got better and am awful about remembering to take them now….sheesh..I should find them and put them in my purse….at least then there is a higher likelihood of taking them…some of the time!

  2. Aw hey there! Don’t fret too much about the KFC… I had one of those days too yesterday (I just posted about it too!) and we just need to be less hard on our selfs. We will just get back on track tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day! Good luck on your journey! I am on one as well, and I’m sure we will do amazingly 🙂

  3. Kim, I wish I had some great advice to offer that would totally prevent days like this, but as you know from reading my blog, I don’t. In fact, while the circumstances aren’t the same, I go through those emotional roller coaster days all too often. Just hang in there. You are doing the right things, in spite of the KFC.

  4. Kim… you can get through this. As Jillian said on Biggest Loser this week… stress can make your body go into overload and hold onto weight. The KFC is a blip (situational, I know)… but you can move on! Overall you’re doing really well.

  5. Kim, we have *so* all been there. Bringing it out into the light is an amazing first step. Something that has really, really helped me lately has been reviewing my list of reasons why I want this every day, several times a day. For me, that has translated into far more mindfulness of my food choices, cravings, and weak moments. Don’t know if that’ll help you, but I thought I’d put it out there!

    • yes all you have said is true…Lately I have been much more aware of when I am WANTing to eat for emotions sake…This time though it was like my brain shut off for about 5 minutes. I knew as soon as it turned back on what I did. Prior to eating it, i wasn’t even thinking about wanting something like that. I had been on the phone and hung up and decided to go figure out something for dinner…it was likely going to be salmon…AIYH!!!

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