Some of you may remember a brief mention of a man named Phil in a post from last spring when ABS and I did our Leap of Faith. Phil is this guy who is a friend and mentor to the likes of ABS, Coach and Aaron, which translates to me as…a man whom I can trust.
Last spring when we did the Leap, Phil asked me to email him in 6 months to let him know where I was at. I did that in the last couple of weeks. Sadly, my email to him was one of frustration and discouragement as I described the last 6 or 7 months of struggle to lose the weight and to move beyond that ever elusive 65 lb mark and on my way to further freedom. This among other things was discouraging to write about as I had anticipated 6 months ago being able to write that I was so far beyond where I was last spring. I had anticipated and perhaps naïvely hoped that the Leap of Faith/Trust would have been a cure-all for some things and that things would get easier from that point on.
Not so much the reality here folks. Phil, whom from here on out I will call Solomon when I refer to him, was kind and gentle and oh so wise in his response to my frustrations.
First, Yes, I am a Christian. I hope that you all would have picked up on that by now. I also hope that you will have picked up on that while my faith in Jesus is very important to me, I am not a ‘religious’ person. Being a Christian, I am aware that there is a spiritual battle that is being played out on earth AND I know who wins in the end. For that reason, I don’t often acknowledge the evil one’s presence/doings. I guess I figure that he can mess around all he wants, he is still gonna lose in the end. I am coming to recognize, that while the outcome of the war is clear, there are many battles along the way that can be lost, but don’t need to be if only I would acknowledge my adversary and fight him head on. I wonder, how many battles I have lost because I have not acknowledged who I am fighting and fought him with the weapons designed to defeat him.
With that said, it is time to kick some devil butt! Solomon, ever so kindly reminded me that my battle with my weight is not merely physical, it is spiritual too. The devil has ‘had’ me for so long in a holding pattern that I began to breakout of in the Fall of 2008 when I started Retelling and all that. However, the Leap was a huge bit of battle ground. In essence, I was drawing a line in the sand and taking a stand for Whom I would believe and trust. I was shaking free of that hold he had on me in a real and tangible way. It now makes sense that my gain/lose pattern began right around the same time as the leap. As Solomon said to me in an email, this is “hotly contested ground”.
It makes sense also in the last week as I have come up with my plan for 2010 and the Perfect 10 has come out as well, that suddenly I have the first cold I have had in a year! A year of not being sick at all and suddenly, Bam! Of course I would get sick the minute I recognize what is going on and take a very clear stand against it. Trickery!
My gain/loss pattern is no longer discouraging people. It is flat-out annoying. Like a fly that buzzes around your ears in the summer time or the swarm of gnats I run through. Annoying. Ineffective. Useless.
This hotly contested ground is MINE. I am drawing a line in the sand, again, and I am choosing my weapons of warfare carefully. This is not a physical battle that will be won with diligent use of diet and exercise alone. This is a spiritual battle and for that I need spiritual weapons. Weapons of mass destruction 🙂 Therefore, I choose Trust. I choose Discipline. I choose Faith. I choose Hope. I choose Truth. For my final weapon of choice, the one that trumps all, I choose The Spirit.
My line is clear. My weapons are ready. So, bring it on Devil! You can’t stop me! You can only hope to contain me! You can’t defeat me, I have got your worst nightmare on my side. You can only hope to wound me, but for that I have the Great Physician on call to heal me. So bring it on, I am fired up and ready to fight! You had me when I wasn’t willing to acknowledge you, but now your day has come, your secret is out. Bring it on…let’s get this over with. I am ready to move on to something new…