Weigh In, Employment, And Brothers

For the last year and a half, I have been unemployed.  I have had a ton of time to look at my life and my issues and to focus solely on those things as I worked to lose weight.  That time is coming to an end.  I got the call yesterday morning that the job I have been interviewing for and hoping for (trying not to) is mine!

I start on Monday and I have no idea what my employment package includes.  All I cared about during the  call was that I got the job, a job, any job.  I have had a year and a half of “vacation” time, so when she said those details, I didn’t care.  I also don’t recall when I am eligible for benefits of any kind.  I am sure there are some, I just don’t know what or when.

Good thing they are sending it all to me in writing.

After accepting the job and immediately calling a whole bunch of people to tell them the news I began to think about how things are going to need to change.  This life of running whenever I FEEL like it are over.  Running/exercise will happen whenever it NEEDS to happen.  It will have to be scheduled and completed as scheduled.  And as fall closes in, it means outside of weekends, my beautiful trail runs are likely over because it will be too dark by the time I get home from work!  The track, the treadmill or the pavement will become my new places to run.  It is good I work best under pressure, perhaps this will be a good thing for my workouts!

Then I began to think, what am I going to wear?  Ironically, it is one of the first things Aaron asked me too for now and for on going as I continue to shrink!  The last time I had to wear business attire on a regular basis I was 65 lbs heavier.  I think I might have at least 2 pair of dress slacks from another time of losing weight that may fit, but I think all my blazers/suits are too big as are most of my blouses.  Sorting is happening this weekend then I will have to take all the far to big stuff somewhere to be altered (CAROLLYN!!!!  HELP!!)

In the meantime, my brother Ken wanted to go  out last night to celebrate!  We went out for drinks and when I arrived he tossed a bank envelope on the table and said that it was for me!  I was confused and looked.  Inside was a wad of cash!  I looked at him, puzzled.  He said I would need some new clothes that fit me if I am gonna work in a bank!  So incredibly generous and kind and thoughtful!  And since he is such an understated type person, he will likely kill me for bragging about him…but you don’t know me or him, not really, so I am gonna brag anyway!  I have the best brother!

What an end to what was looking to be a discouraging week!  On Tuesday, I was quite discouraged after my weigh in.  I lost 1 lb.  I know, it is a loss.  I should have been excited!  But I wasn’t.  I knew I had done amazingly well all week with both food and exercise.  When I looked in the mirror, I could suddenly see the beginnings of dimples in my cheeks and so I FELT like I had lost a significant amount.  Until I weighed in I felt great about my progress and what the scale would reveal.  So I was disappointed to say the least.  I recognize the irrationality (is that a word) of this.  It is certainly not a healthy way to think and not a path I want to wonder down for very long.

I have been considering giving up the scale for 1 month and weighing in then and see what that does to how I relate to the scale.  I have preached enough that the scale is just objective feedback on the work done during the week.  It is not the only way to measure whole health.  I mean, it was so evident to me when I was feeling great and then my whole mood shifted after my date with the scale.  I don’t want the scale to define me or my attitude.  At the same time, I know that if I don’t have feedback on a regular basis it will be difficult to pinpoint what I am doing wrong or right.  My decision on this is not made yet.  I am holding out on that decision for now as I have also realized that there are some hormones at work that should not be allowed to have a say in this.

It is a tough line to walk with the scale and that number. I know it is how I relate to it that makes the difference.  So I will decide next week after conferring with my people!  Stay tuned!

Until then, do all you can and let the number be what it is…

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8 thoughts on “Weigh In, Employment, And Brothers

  1. CONGRATS KIM!!!

    I am bummed I am losing my vacation co-worker, but I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

    Carollynn called me yesterday and told me the news, but I figured I’d read it here as well!!

    Go enjoy shopping for those new clothes..YOU DESERVE IT!!!

    Sue

    • HAHA Sue, I must have logged in to the blog while working there for you…cuz your comment is showing up as ME…might wanna click log out!

      Yeah, I was gonna tell you that you can’t use me anymore!!

  2. Wow, it sounds like God is really blessing you. I am so happy for you that you finally found a job, I know you have been really struggling with that. Please keep working out and don’t lose focus. I know how just the least little change in schedule can throw everything off. That is what happened to me over the summer. You are always such an inspirtation to me and I don’t want to lose that because I need it. I know that sounds selfish but I also don’t want that for you, I want you to be successful because you deserve it.

    I hope your job goes well and I hope you enjoy shopping for some new (smaller 🙂 ) clothes. 🙂

  3. Thanks everyone, I am working this weekend to set myself up for success…a huge change of schedule will NOT be an excuse to get off track. AND I am looking forward to doing a little shopping!

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