Thinking Twice

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend whose teenage daughter has been dealing with some stuff in her life.  Neither my friend or her daughter know about this blog, at least not to my knowledge.   The friend, I don’t talk to very often and her daughter even less.  Her daughter is away for the week visiting family and spending some time alone to think.  When they were thinking of where her daughter could go to get away, that would be a safe and comfortable place for her to go, her daughter suggested coming to visit me.  My friend told me that her daughter had been watching me lose weight and follows me closely on Facebook and has been inspired by me.

I was confused at first and very humbled.

I really don’t feel like I put that much out there on FB.  Maybe some status updates about going to swim, bike, or run but nothing specific about my weight loss journey.  That is reserved for this place.

Later that same day, I commented on another bloggers blog about how great she is doing in her running program as she works toward being able to run a 5K.  I am inspired by her discipline to follow the C25K program.   I run, but I run haphazardly and just go by feel and well…boredom.  When I get bored with one routine I move on to something a little more challenging.  It takes far more discipline to do something like C25K.

Anyway, she responded that I actually inspired her to run!

What?!  I am almost 300 lbs doing an attempt at running that if you saw it, you would hardly call it running!  I huff and puff my way through and I am sure it sounds like I am gonna die.  But I do it…and I guess that was her point.  I am a large woman doing something that in general, most don’t consider possible.

Regardless, I was surprised and humbled again.

Hearing these things makes me think twice about giving up on days like today when I devoured far too many chocolate chip cookies and completely failed to count calories at all.  When I feel like crap and am full of shame and think it isn’t worth it, I am reminded of these things.

I know, ultimately, I am doing this for myself first.  For MY health.  For MY future.  For My now.  So that I can live a full and exciting life with all sorts of possibilities that never existed before.  But sometimes, those reasons aren’t enough.  Sometimes all I have to draw from for my own strength and determination is the fact that others are looking to me for encouragement and inspiration and courage.  I can’t quit.  Not for me.  Not for them.

You see, it is easy to let myself down.  Or at least it once was.  I am not so sure it will be so easy anymore and I am not sure I want to test that.  But I know for sure, I don’t want to let others down.

So know this friend and fellow running blogger…YOU have inspired me today….to go again tomorrow (since today is pretty much over and my eating SUCKED!)

I know Aaron…You have told me often that my impact on others is greater than I know…I am learning…slowly but surely, I am learning!


9 thoughts on “Thinking Twice

  1. Kim, I am sure you are going to hear this from others too, but I for one do consider what you do inspirational. You have already accomplished more than most ever will, but you aren’t satisfied with that, and you are trudging ahead to the next goal.

    • Hmmmm yes Aaron…it is a message that seems to keep getting repeated in my life. On the one hand, I am glad I don’t “get it” yet, keeps me humble. On the other hand, I hate having to learn things over and over and over…

  2. KIM! I LOVE this post 🙂 I am thinking I know who you mean here, haha. Isn’t it incredible how much a few words of encouragement help sometimes? When I run my first 5k, I have to wear a shirt that says “Thanks Kim!” because it’s true!

    Keep at it, even though the days when you feel like devouring an entire pan of brownies (I truly did that a few weeks ago, we probably all have!) and you will get there! Sorry for the delay in reading, you posted this a few days ago 🙂 But anyway, thank you!!

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