Tonight, I went out with my sister-in-law and some of her friends and her Aunt to a Mary Kay party. When you take out the fact that we are being pitched to buy really expensive make-up/facial cleansing products or to sign up for the “opportunity” it was generally a good time to be with “the girls”.
However, it is always awkward for me being around this group. I am sure that much of it is my own attitude because I am certain they are just trying to be encouraging and supportive, but this is what happens. They all know that I applied for TBL and they all of course know I have lost weight. 65 lbs is noticeable. It is a young child, after all, missing off my body. However, I show up and the subject of conversation goes immediately to food, diet, or exercise and the latest things to make it happen that THEY are doing and that I SHOULD do as well. This could be the latest exercise DVD that they all love and do together 3 times a week in said Aunt’s garage or it could be the latest organic food they found or vitamin supplement that our body NEEDS. It could be the benefits of natural almonds or avocados. But the key thing is the conversation is not WITH me, it is AT me and it is giving me unasked for advice without really caring to ask or listening to my answer when they do ask about what it is that I AM doing.
The other conversation that comes up is the “other” people they know that has lost a significant amount of weight. Tonight, as we were walking in to this party, the Aunt pulled me back from the group to tell me something. The friend she brought has lost 50 lbs and wants to lose 50 more. She has told me about this friend of hers before and for whatever reason felt it necessary to POINT HER OUT to me. So now what? Am I supposed to go up to this woman I just met and start talking about weight loss and compare war stories with her, just because we have both lost significant amounts of weight? Did Aunt point me out to this other woman before they even got in the car too?
Here is my beef with all of this.
There is more to me than my weight. I have other interests, other passions. I don’t always want to talk about food/diet or the program. Frankly, it is in my head all the time, from the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep. I have people I am in accountability with to really hash things out with if I need to. But really, when I am with others, sometimes I just want to be able to forget about it for a while. I don’t always want to talk about it. Yes, here on my blog this is all you get (not really) but 99% of what I blog about has to do with my weight or what is getting in the way of my weight loss…but that is the PURPOSE of my blog.
I am not the number that I weigh nor am I the number of pounds I have lost. My name is not 290.2 or 65.8! Why does an introduction have to be “Hey this is Kim, she has lost 65 lbs…isn’t that wonderful?!” Why can’t it simply be, “Hey, this is Kim or my friend so and so…I think you guys would get along great!” Then let us talk and decide if each of us want the other knowing such intimate details as our weights/struggles with it! I don’t want to be introduced as/talked about as “That girl” who lost x number of lbs. My name is Kim thank you very much. Can that stand alone? Can that be enough of an introduction…then let me decide how I want to be known by that person? Can who I am be enough without having to qualify it with what I am doing?
I know, I sound whiny. These people love me and they want to be encouraging. They are well-meaning people with good intentions. They are proud of my lbs lost. They are proud of me. Which is the only reason I don’t say anything.
So I rant here instead. 🙂