Yesterday, I had an interview in my beloved GR, for a job I really want.
Today, I met with my old counselor to talk about all of the forgiveness stuff that has been cropping up for me this past week or so. I thought seeing her, showing her where I am at weight wise and hashing out this stuff would be helpful.
Then I drove back to the “D”.
Typically when I leave GR, there is a sadness that hangs about me. I love that city. It is the place I consider my home. And I procrastinate leaving to the last possible moment and count the days and minutes until I get to go back again.
Today, that was not the case. Today, I met with Esther and left immediately after.
As I was driving I realized I had the biggest, cheesiest, perma-grin plastered on my face and that there was a feeling within me that screamed happiness! By the time I got home, my cheeks hurt. It was ridiculous!
It was wonderful!
Here is my assessment of the source of such joy.
1. I had a wonderful time in GR with friends.
2. I have hopes of moving back there soon.
3. I had a fantastic interview.
4. My counselor confirmed that the things that I have been thinking about this week in regards to forgiveness and my abuser and how I have been relating to it, was actually pretty right on and healthy…which in essence deemed me “not crazy”! 🙂
5. In general, I have been feeling like I have been making good choices lately. Healthy choices. Last week, with all the Gibran stuff swirling in my head, conversations with friends stirring more stuff up, and all the rest, there were a couple times I found myself starting to eat mindlessly. I would catch myself within just a couple of bites and stop, knowing that it was mindless eating. Something to do with my hands while my head swirled with all these thoughts. It was good to see the self control. It was good to see that what once was a stronghold is no more. It was good to see myself keeping good healthy perspective on what was going on, without being consumed by it and succumbing to despair, all the while staying very connected to the emotion of it all.
6. At least 6 people said something to me about my weight loss and how it is becoming more obvious! Very fun! And very cool to notice that men are noticing, commenting, and I am not freaking out! I am also starting to catch myself deflecting those compliments and interrupt myself to say “Thank You!”
I think all of these reasons were part of the perma-grin…that apparently spreads by text message. Then Coach called tonight, and he could hear it in my voice…and he had no idea…. 🙂
THEN….THEN folks, I went to my weigh in!
I lost 5.7 Pounds! I thought I had a perma-grin before.
Imagine a woman, sitting in an auto repair shop texting her people in excitement…with a silly grin plastered on her face….sometimes a chuckle slipping out…but always the grin.
Even finding out that they don’t know what is wrong with my car could not wipe the grin off my face.
On to the dealership…for more assessments of my vehicle…perma-grin right there with me!
Oh by the way…5.7 pounds officially puts me in the 200’s!!! Woot! Woot!!!
Ceeelebration time…Come ON! I feel like dancing tonight!!!
Hey Aaron, I trust you! I will never doubt you again! I swear! All of blogland is my witness! 😀
One other side note…but not really a side note. I lost 5.7 lbs this week, during a week when I was looking at some pretty significant issues, emotions and thoughts swirling around like crazy. This is significant. It means I have a handle on my emotional eating patterns. Such sweet victory, to lose so significantly while facing hard things. God is sooo good!
On the road…
“But my heart is set on a pilgrimage
to heaven’s own bright King
So in faltering or victory
I will always sing”- Charlie Hall