Not Meant to Be ALone

A few years back there lived a man named Adam. ( no, no , no not the Adam who has been referenced here before!)

Now where was I? Oh yes…a man named Adam. He was given much responsibility and instructions on how to live out his life here on earth. He had purpose and direction, but somehow that wasn’t good enough, so his Father found him a woman, a helpmate named Eve. Someone to share life with.

While this story is most often associated with a husband and wife theme….and I am most definitely NOT married yet at my ripe old age of 32 :-)…I think I can still relate to this. In a general sense we (humans) are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to walk through life alone, through all the hills or the valleys. We are created for community! Despite what our society teaches us, we are NOT supposed to be completely independent, fully self-sufficient beings going about life without the help, support and encouragement of others. This does not mean we get to be irresponsible either though!

I know this!

I believe this!

I will spout this truth off to anyone who tries to hold me at bay and not let me walk through life with them or help them reach their goals in some way, if it is within my power to do so.

So why do I like to be so doggone independent and stubborn and self-sufficient. I simply squirm at the idea/thought of needing/accepting help. I have thought about this subject off and on for some time now. This past week, this idea of dependence came up yet again as I needed help.

Now, let me just say….I am far, far, FAR better at letting people help me than ever before. I used to never even let others know I needed help, even if they directly asked me!

So here is what happened. I locked my keys in my trunk as I was packing my car and leaving for church, followed by lunch with friends then back to Detroit for my nephews baptism. In my mind, the only possibility was to skip church, get a tow truck out to unlock my doors, so I could access my trunk, so I could meet the friends for lunch at least.

I called Adam (back to current reality folks, not ancient history), since I was supposed to be saving a seat for him, to let him know I wouldn’t be there. His plan was to pick me up for church and we would see what possibilities opened up for lunch/opening my doors after church. Umm ok. This is generally not a big deal. When I lived in GR, we would often ride to church together. But somehow, because it was a NEED now…I felt weird about it. As if somehow this time, it would be putting him out to do this.

I never said my thoughts would be rational, folks!

After church, we met up with the above friends…with my plan being to tell them that I would not be meeting them for lunch because I needed to take care of the car to ensure I get on the road in time to be back for the nephews big day! Adam didn’t plan on staying for lunch, so my ride back was with him. In comes Todd and John who suggest the following.

1. Adam goes to lunch…afterall…he has to eat, right? Adam agrees only because lunch would be Jet’s Pizza, and well he likes the people he would be with…and they would’t take no for an answer!

2. Todd and John would drive up and try to coat hanger my doors open, get my keys and drive my car back to me…problem would then be solved. Worse case scenario, I still leave with Adam but no later than 2:30.

Ummm ok….although this again leaves me slightly uncomfortable…as my car is a good 20 minutes away from church and in the opposite direction of anyone but Adam. Again the whole thought of being a burden tries to slip in, despite the fact that I did not ask them to do this, they kind of told me that is what would happen….and really if Adam had not agreed to lunch, they would then drive me back to my car later!

They couldn’t get in. So in general I feel bad that these guys missed out on time with the group. Again folks, I never said this would be rational.

Moving on….Adam and I leave. He drops me at my car just as the tow truck shows up to open my car. The car is opened but I cannot access my truck. My door locks won’t work for some reason….and ultimately we couldn’t access my trunk from the back seats either because there is a latch that needs to be pulled to release them…in the trunk!

SO Virg (former roommie)and I are tossing around options and I am just thinking that I will have to miss the nephews big day and go to a dealership or locksmith on Monday to get my doors opened. In the meantime, I texted Adam to let him know what was up, cuz that is just what I do.

He calls immediately and tells me I can TAKE HIS CAR to Detroit for the night so I can get to the baptism…and deal with the car during business hours. I would let him know. Ultimately this is what happened, but not without more of those irrational conversations in my head.

Now at this point, I am realizing a theme here. Every bit of the day has been a day of relying on others to get to the next thing or be a part of what is happening. I know I am fairly independent and that I don’t like having to rely on others for help. I am far better though. At least now, I just have the thoughts but still allow others to help and on occasion I have even been known to actually ask for help!

Someone once said to me, possibly Aaron, that when I ask for help it is like an invitation into my life. When I think about that and how I feel when someone asks me for help it is like that. It is such a JOY to help and to be invited into their space! On the flip side, when I find out that someone could have used my help and they didn’t ask because they thought I might feel put out, I feel robbed. I never want to rob someone of the joy of helping. Of being the gift that they are to this world, to me. I don’t want to be a thief!

But more, I don’t want to be alone, married or not…so I will keep choosing to put the irrational thoughts out of my head, and accept help when it is offered, ask when it is not and it is needed, and ultimately live life in community….whether it is car troubles or weight struggles or any other kind of struggle…we are not meant to live life alone.
Oh and weigh in results….gained 1.2. No worries though…I had soy sauce yesterday….and regardless I know I did the work. If I honestly did the work and gained a little, I am not gonna freak out! I will just keep going and take care of it next week! (Yikes! does that sniff of whole health or what?)
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One thought on “Not Meant to Be ALone

  1. I can tell from your post that we are both Virgos šŸ™‚ Every word you spoke and wrote is totally the way I feel and deal with things as well. I can relate to 100% of everything you said. As some people now, I can be quite stubborn and pig headed too. I don’t like that or like how I rationalize things, but that’s me I am I am doing my best as well to change that too. It’s not easy for me and my behavior and attitude have push some people out of my life.
    I do appreciate you leading your hand to me in helping me out as well. I so appreciate that and it was so nice of you to send me that e-mail. Again I will respond to it.
    I just wanted to say Hi and to catch up with ya. I missed you as well. It sure can get lonely dealing with things by yourself.
    Talk to you more later…
    Have a great day and I hope the rain let up for you.

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