This week has been one of grace. Despite my angst and anger and wonderings last week of the justice and mercy of God, I feel like God has been my constant companion this week. While driving in the car alone and continuing to wonder, I have at times felt almost a physical presence with me. While walking around this city of mine, I felt as though he walked beside me. Even as I type this I know it sounds so cliche. But truly, I know I am not alone. I know that God is not going to change who He is so I can feel like justice has been done, but He is also not going to deny me the right to feel the way I do. My anger does not scare him away. And He feels no need to hurry to make me feel better about it either. He is content to sit with me while I wonder, as long as it takes. That is grace to me.
I have also been extremely thankful for the friends who have sat with me, listened, and cried with me…and also felt no pressure to fix this for me. Especially the men…who tend to be fixers anyway. It was good to be able to just talk out loud and be heard. That was grace with skin on.